Mission: Looking for a self-motivated, American selling machine.

Requirements: Sell our services.

The ideal candidate must:

1. Be highly creative
2. Enjoy sales and a fun work environment
3. Own more than one tuxedo or formal pantsuit
4. Hate terrorism
5. Love dogs
6. Be a skilled skydiver, with a proficiency in night time HALO jumps
7. Have apprenticed under a master Cuban cigar roller, Spanish matador or Pablo Escobar
8. Be a devout fan of Ernest Hemingway, and know how to write in similar prose
9. Not believe in the continuance of daylight savings time, but rather wish to institute it permanently
10. Enjoy yachting, boating, fishing or anything involving the ocean
11. Have traveled the world, or want to
12. Know how to make an Old Fashioned, Manhattan, Moscow Mule and a Martini
13. Like guns, and be an outstanding marksman
14. Demonstrate a moderate proficiency in swordsmanship and fencing
15. Possess an extraordinary amount of knowledge pertaining to world history, science, literature and current events
16. Know how to golf, possess pre-1959 Ping golf clubs, we would prefer if you play poorly
17. Be a carnivore
18. Utilize 10w40 to moisturize
19. Be proficient with a harmonica
20. Know how to start a fire without a lighter or matches
21. Have been a helmsman on an aircraft carrier
22. Demonstrate competency in counter narcotics and counter terrorism operations
23. Have wrestled an alligator, or similar apex predator
24. Be an avid hunter utilizing falconry, archery or primitive weapons
25. Own an automatic weapon or flame thrower, legally
26. Be registered to vote
27. Have stayed awake during a significant surgery, just to watch
28. Owned or operated a 3-star Michelin Restaurant
29. Have operational experience with land mines
30. Own a pair of brass knuckles
31. Have broken a horse and then ridden it along the Appian Way
32. Been employed by Cirque du Soleil
33. Have an affinity for single malt scotch, neat
34. Have a multi-engine pilot’s license, with experience beyond Mach 2
35. Be an expert in Krav Maga or Muay Thai
36. Demonstrate proficiency with a 22-inch chainsaw
37. Have a royal bloodline
38. Be able to butcher a bovine carcass in under seven minutes using nothing more than a paring knife and a leather belt
39. Believe in bigfoot, and have two pet chupacabras
40. Be a certified Master SCUBA diver or above
41. Have spent a night in jail in a foreign nation, for a crime you or your lover committed
42. Be proficient as a classical pianist
43. Have dual citizenship and two valid passports
44. Be able to bareknuckle box a kangaroo, and hold your own
45. Have scaled Mount Everest, twice
46. Have Richard Branson’s cell phone number in your favorites section
47. Enjoy feeding tiger sharks by hand
48. Have a doctoral degree in aerospace engineering, neurology, or the like
49. Know the difference between Afghan and Afghani
50. Regularly sleep wearing velvet pajamas, top only
51. Have learned to ride a bike at the Harley Davidson factory
52. Use Louis XIII as mouthwash after brushing with a wire brush
53. Possess the libido of Tiger Woods, or equivalent
54. Have won a Kentucky Derby
55. Have a minimum of two months’ experience as an adjunct professor at West Point
56. Sailed the Spanish Main, alone
57. Regularly substitute milk in cereal with Guinness Stout
58. Be able to pass a polygraph examination, while under machine gun fire
59. Have swam with humpback whales and Richard Branson at the same time
60. Graduated from Basic Underwater Demolition/ SEAL training and be proficient in explosives
61. Have a strong understanding of quantum physics and time travel
62. Possess a Lombardi Trophy
63. Have a concealed/ carry license
64. Be working on your third marriage with no regrets
65. Own a certified, pre-owned Lamborghini
66. Participate in annual office fight club and will not mention said fight club
67. Have a basic understanding of maintenance required for Soviet nuclear submarines
68. Fancy himself/herself an artist

Compensation: One winter’s worth of firewood and two month’s rations of Cuban rum, plus commission

All candidates must be able to pass a one-week survival training assessment in the environment of our choosing.

Must have no fear of heights, as our office is located on the 2^nd floor.

Should be a Heisman Trophy winner. Cy Young Award recipient is a plus.

CIA, KGB or MI6 experience is desirable.

The ability to speak and write in Mandarin Chinese, Swahili, and English is preferred.

Competency in juggling will be tested with live hand grenades.

***NBC’s Brian Williams must corroborate all of your experience.***

ONLY SERIOUS APPLICANTS IN THE TAMPA BAY AREA SHOULD APPLY!

In all seriousness, this position provides high earning potential for candidates looking to build a career in a fast-paced and exciting industry.

If you meet the above criteria or possess a sense of humor and have a strong desire to pursue a career in sales, email news@judgepr.com to apply.

Please send us your best sales pitch, along with your resume and cover letter, and if you’re selected for an interview, we will be in touch.

Judge Public Relations is a veteran-owned business that provides equal employment opportunities (EEO) to all employees and applicants for employment without regard to race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability or genetics. In addition to federal law requirements, Judge Public Relations complies with applicable state and local laws governing nondiscrimination in employment in every location in which the company has facilities. This policy applies to all terms and conditions of employment, including recruiting, hiring, placement, promotion, termination, layoff, recall, transfer, leaves of absence, compensation and training.

Judge Public Relations expressly prohibits any form of workplace harassment based on race, color, religion, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, national origin, age, genetic information, disability, or veteran status. Improper interference with the ability of Judge Public Relations’ employees to perform their job duties may result in discipline up to and including discharge.